Never Say Die
by Alishaducool
Summary: I'll never move on fully, but till then. It's a start.


Never Say Die

Noone said moving on is easy, but sometimes it's just too much to handle.

Rating- R. Character death, suicide, murder and rape.

Genre- Dark

Ships- Assorted

Disclaimer- These characters aren't mine, they don't belong to me and I'm not making money off them, so please don't sue me.

Authors notes- This is quite a dark fic, before you start flaming me for killing off two great characters, they're two of my favourite characters adn I'm only experimenting with dark stories. I also have a humour storie that I'm in the process of writing. Until then. Enjoy.

"I said go away!" Marie yelled as she slammed her bedroom door in my face.She hit the door with her fist.

"Ow" I heard her mutter through the door.

"Suit yourself" I called to her then walked down the hallway to the boys dorms. I walked into Bobby and I's room - why do I keep saying that, it's my room now.I sat there on the bed and did something I hadn't done since I first came to the school. I cried. I cried for what I had done to Bobby, I cried for how much I was hurting my Marie, I cried for what I was going to do as soon as I had the chance, and I cried for the truck and the razor blade, and anything and everything to do with this.

_Flashback- 3 and a half months ago._

"Fuck off Bobby, just fuck off to your precious family in your precious home and get out of my sight?" He just stood there with his mouth open, then he did the last thing I ever expected him to, he smiled. Smiled. Then he picked up his bag and walked out of the door.

It served him right, he shouldn't have hurt Rogue, or Kitty, or me. Sure he didn't hurt me phsicaly, like he did Kitty, the emotional scars are there, but theres a chance they'll forget about it. I'll never forget or forgive what he did to any of us.

_4 months ago._

A scream, a single solitary scream, then silence. Strange how noone would hear the scream, yet everyone could hear the silence.

All I saw was Kitty running from the boys dorms to the bathroom. Then Bobby calling after her.But there was something wrong with his face, like he was happy and pleased with himself, but at the same time sad and guilty. Little did I know...so little did I know, what had just happened and the effect it would have on our lives from this point onwards.

Rape.

That's what he told me - he had _raped_ Kitty. I felt sick to my guts. My best friend had raped one of my closest friends, and had the audacity to walk around the mansion and chat to me like nothing had happened. I quickly flicked my zippo open then casually flicked my hand and set his hung up jumper on fire. I walked out of the room at that and left it to burn. If he had any feelings left in him, there would be the sizzle of water on fire soon enough. If not, then good riddance.

_3 and a half months ago._

I watched as he walked out the door, then I walked out after him, he would not get away with what he had done to Kitty or Rogue. He knew I was there, he stopped and turned.

"Robert Louis Drake, leave now and never come back - ever." the words were out before I'd so much as thought of saying them.

He didn't move, I glanced over his shoulder at the fast moving heavy traffic, then started walking towards him, he stepped back, until he was stood on the edge of the kerb. I saw a truck heading down the road way above the limit. I took a deep breath at what I would do next, until I realised something, Bobby was lifting his foot up ready to move.It suddenly didn't seem such a sick idea anymore. I took one step forward.

_3 months ago_

The funeral was two weeks after his death. The post mortem said suicide. I knew it was murder. I held Kitty close to me and kissed her hair. We were each others lifelines, and we held each others darkest secrets. She was the only one who knew I killed Bobby, and I the only one who knew Bobby had raped her.

We watched in silence as the coffin was planted into the ground. Miss Munroe and Xavier gave a speech, then the crowd slowly depleated. I sat there still holding onto Kitty. I glanced a look at Marie sat crying on the veranda.Then I stood up.

"What are you doing?" Kitty asked as i walked over to the tombstone with my zippo flaring.

"Things will never be the same after what he did. But we can try and get over it." I said as I let tiny sparks of flame fly off the zippo. I closed my eyes and lifted my finger, the flame shot completely off the zippo and landed on the mud that lay over the bastards corpse. Kitty looked at me and smiled - a half smile, but still a smile, the first time she had in nearly a month.

"I need to sort things out with Rogue." I could hear Kittys muffled protests but I blocked them out as I crossed the lawn. I stopped just short of the veranda where Marie was sat.

"Marie I..."

"Save it John. Don't even bother talking to me."

"Come on marie. Don't push me out. Look I know it's hard on you. It is on all of us, but please..."

"You don't know the half of it John."

I dropped my head at that point.Maybe she was right. Maybe even with all that I knew, I didn't even know the half of it.

"Do you know what he did to Kitty? Do you?" She shook her head.

"He...he...he raped her Marie. Bobby raped Kitty. He wasn't the great guy who everyone loved and wouldn't hurt a fly if it decapitated him. Marie." She shook her head.

"No...No Bobby wouldn't do something like that, Kitty is...was one of his best friends...You're lying to me, you want me to think that was why he killed himself, maybe it is...but whatever it was - you killed him"

She shot a deathly stare at me as she spoke the last sentence.

"I know, and I know he hurt you too, don't think I hadn't noticed the bruises Marie." I took one last look at her before walking off back to Kitty.

I'm still crying with my head stuck in the pillow, the claminess of my tears dampening my face. I'm pretty sure theres noone coming and I keep a blade in my room, one quick cut, thats all it'd be I thought as I stood up still shaking and walked towards the bathroom cabinet.

Things hadn't been the same since Katherines funeral, I started calling her by her full first name after the bastards funeral. Since then I would just lock myself in my room and do nothing, barely sleeping. Occasionaly I would go down the stairs in the dead of the night and make a sandwich and have a glass of water.

She was murdered, or was it suicide. Unlike the situation with Bobby I didn't know wich one it was. But what I do know was that Katherines body was found with Marie sat next to her crying. Marie could tell me every single detail about Katherine. From her first days at school, to the day her powers manifested. She could tell me every place I'd kissed her, her exact emotions every time I made love to her. But not one factor, what was going through her head the night Katherine was found dead.

At the funeral I went dressed in my smartest suit. I had asked Xavier beforehand if I could make a speech.

"Katherine Pryde was a brilliant friend, always willing to help, always happy and always with that smile of hers that never faded, not even when she was asleep. She was...so beautiful" They could hear the catch in my throat clearly now.

"She never deserved what happened to her. She. Bobby raped her. Bobby raped Kitty around four months ago." I can see the looks on everyones faces, a mixture of disgust, fear, shock and pity.

"Bobby didn't commit suicide, I killed him. And another thing, Katherine was pregnant...with my child, and it's because of Bobby, that child will never grow up, and i'll never see her." Theres a dreamy look about my face and I can feel a tear streaking down my cheek.

"Rest In Peace Katherine Anne Pryde and Keira Diane Persephone Allerdyce-Pryde" I smiled meekly as I felt the tears stream down my face, then as I turned to the direction of Bobbys grave I muttered.

"Robert Louis Drake, Rot in hell."

I turned my head slightly, still relishing in the feel of the cold metal scratching lightly against my skin.

"John, she wouldn't want you to do that" I knew it was Marie before I turned around, I could tell her soft southern accent anywhere, but I turned all the same. I glared at her as the cool metal left a faint red trail across the length of my wrist.

"And you'd know that, when you was the one who helped her end her life" Marie looked like she was about to cry.

"I didn't know what she was doing, all I remeber is waking up with Kittys hand on my arm, and knowing everything about her, but it was too late. I pushed her off and I hoped that she'd wake up. But then i touched her face, and...nothing, by the time I'd woken up she was already dead. I'm so sorry John." I knew she was telling the truth and nearly slapped myself for thinking that Marie would let her go through with that if she knew. I had to aske her now, I couldn't die without knowing the truth.

"Marie I know that you know what Katherine was thinking when she killed herself, please if its the last thing you ever do for me, tell me." I regarded Marie as she bit her lip, and I noticed something that I hadn't before, though I don't know how I hadn't. Marie had a slight bump on her chest.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier, it's just talk about Bobby gets to me. Kitty didn't know what else to do, she loves you so much and she regrets leaving you. She just couldn't cope with it anymore, but I can tell that you were helping, and she doesn't want you to kill yourself, even though you miss her so much and would do anything to be with her again, but you need to live and look after her child." Suddenly I don't need an explanation and I understand. K.D won't grow up into a perfect world, but I'll get it as close as I can, just for her.

I havn't moved on yet, and I know that I never full will, but for now. It's a start.


End file.
